03 Emotions
by silhouette 04
Summary: The Life and Relationship of TiBette (not for the faint of heart) -This story is intended for mature readers!


**Emotions**

...

Tina gets pregnant two months after their trip to Greece; nine months later, she gives birth to Angelica. They call her Angie. Bette adopts Angie from birth and the adoption is granted right away by the court. Three months after giving birth, Tina continues to work at Shaolin Productions. However this time, her job requires a lot of traveling to Canada since Shaolin Production branched out in Canada and they have so many projects there. She has a different post now. Bette recently resigned as the Director of CAC, but she still works as a Consultant. She has her own art gallery now so she is her own boss. James still works for her as an Assistant.

Because Tina is always traveling, Bette is the one mothering for Angelica. She is more hands-on to Angie than Tina to Angie. Angie even thinks that her biological mom is Bette and she often looks for Bette instead of Tina. Bette now seldom travels to New York and other states. She dedicates most of her time nurturing Angelica. Although she has a lot of work to do relating to her art gallery, she makes sure her family comes first. Her art gallery is not too far from home.

It's been 5 years. Bette and Tina's relationship has been stable for the last five years since their reconciliation. They fight once in a while like normal couples do, but they resolve their issues immediately. Tina has become the more dominant partner in their relationship. Most often, she is the decision maker. Bette has become the submissive type, giving in to Tina's decisions. She is very supportive to Tina's endeavors too.

Angelica is almost four years old now. She addresses both Bette and Tina as Mommy. She seldom calls them Momma Bee or Momma Tee. Bette has become her favorite mom since Bette is always around. For the last 2 years, Tina has become so workaholic that she has less time for her family. She doesn't want to give up her job because it pays her well. She has established her own reputation and she has consecutive big projects. Because she's spending so much of her time at work, she's often stressed out. Bette and Tina's relationship is getting boring now. For the last 6 months, they have less time for sex, intimacy and bonding. Most of the time, they just sleep at night because they're both tired.

Two months ago, while in Canada, Tina meets Henry; a graphic artist. Henry is divorced and has one kid, Mikey. He's very interested in Tina and Tina shows interest in Henry too. At first, Tina hides that she's gay but eventually admits it to him. Henry pursues Tina despite knowing about her gender orientation. Tina is overwhelmed. She is getting confused and having doubts about her feelings. She decides she wants to explore and experiment with men. She's curious again about how it is to have a relationship with a male partner and she wants to be involved. Henry is very nice and kind. Tina somehow develops feelings for Henry.

For two months, Henry and Tina have been constantly chatting and flirting with each other. Tina is comfortable with him and she starts sharing her thoughts, feelings, and some plans with Henry. She is also harboring her infatuation for him although there is no sexual encounter involved yet.

Bette notices Tina's sudden change as she's no longer showing too much enthusiasm and interest in her. She's becoming indifferent. She's no longer sweet to her like she used to. Bette is having an intuition that Tina is getting interested with someone else. But she is giving Tina a chance. She is trying to understand that maybe Tina is just over fatigued and so occupied with work. She's not diligently looking for a proof until one day she accidentally reads Tina's chat conversations with Henry. Bette gets apprehensive and concerned. She wants to confront Tina.

One night in the bedroom, while Angelica is already sleeping, Bette starts initiating contact with Tina. While they're lying on the bed, she cuddles Tina. But Tina is not interested in any foreplay or lovemaking.

**Tina**_: Bette, I'm tired. Can we just sleep? Can you move a little to your side cuz I can't freely move here? I'm suff__o__cated. _

**Bette**_: I miss you Tee. We haven't been doing it for a while now. I think we haven't had sex for the last two months a__l__ready? You have no more time for us, for me._

**Tina**_: Can we do it some other time? I'm really tired Bette. I have to be early tomorrow._

**Bette**_: Well, can we talk at least?_

**Tina**_: Yeah, but not now. I'm so tired. I had a brutal day at work. I just want to sleep. Please?!_

The moment Tina tells all her excuses, Bette has confirmed to herself that her intuition is right and the chat conversations are true. Tina is no longer interested in her. Bette sighs. As she is lying on her back, she puts her right arm on her forehead then she calmly talks and probes Tina.

**Bette**_: How long have you and Henry been flirting? _

Tina gets surprised.

**Tina**_: What?! What the fuck are you talking about?! And how did you know Henry?_

**Bette**_: Stop pretending Tina. I've read your chat conversations. I've read everything so I know, and you can't deny it now. Maybe you could've been more careful and deleted your chat history._

Tina is speechless and motionless.

**Bette**_: So, have you fallen out of love?_

Tina doesn't react. Bette is waiting for Tina to turn her back and look at her. But for a while Tina is not making any movements. Bette is patient. A couple of minutes later, Tina sits on the bed, but she avoids looking at Bette.

**Tina**_: No, I haven't._

**Bette**_: Then why?_

**Tina**_: I don't know. I'm having these thoughts about being with men again._

Bette bursts into tears. Tina looks at her but doesn't do anything.

**Bette**_: Is that why suddenly you have lost your interest in me? Is that why you've been so uncaring for the past month or so? So you're going back to men?_

**Tina**_: I don't know. I just can't help this feeling. I just can't help it._

Bette is tearful but she is still calm.

**Bette**_: How and where did you meet him?_

**Tina**_: In Canada. We met on the set. Henry is a graphic artist._

**Bette**_: Is he Canadian?_

**Tina**_: No, he's American. He lives in LA._

There's a moment of silence. Bette takes a deep breath.

**Bette**_: Well maybe it's just a hormonal thing. We've been a little out of touch lately, maybe you're longing for compa__n__ion, or you need physical intimacy. We haven't __been intimate lately, maybe you're just longing. Or probably you're just curious about men again? _

Tina is quiet.

**Bette**_: Tee, how about if we take a vacation? You, Angie and I? Maybe we can go to Spain, Brazil, or go back to Santorini?_

**Tina**_: No, I can't._

Bette is surprised by Tina's answer, she looks at her intently.

**Bette**_: Why not?_

There's pause for while then Tina continues to talk without looking at Bette.

**Tina**_: I don't know Bette. I don't know. This feelings I'm having for Henry is something different. It's like...it's something I feel good about. It's new but I want to try and explore it. It's like I've been waiting so long to do this. It's something I want in my life and it just feels right. It feels so right._

Bette's heart is like being crushed as she hears Tina speak those words. Tears are flowing from her eyes but she's not making any sounds. She keeps wiping the tears flowing on her cheeks. After a while, she sits on the bed and looks at Tina. But Tina can't look at Bette; she's just looking down.

**Bette**_: So what's your plan?_

**Tina**_: What do you mean what's my plan? I haven't planned anything yet._

**Bette**_: So you want to go on like this? Having 2 persons in your heart, huh?! Well, I can't allow that Tina._

Tina doesn't respond. After a while, Bette just couldn't take it. She gets out of the bedroom and proceeds to the living room. She sits back on the couch and contemplates. After a while of contemplating, she gets a drink in the fridge, sips a little then enters the bedroom. Tina is sitting on the bed by the headboard. Bette sits on the other side. She is tensed and her eyes are almost bulging. They're both quiet. Angelica is sound asleep on her own bed. Bette probes again.

**Bette**_: Did you fuck him yet?_

Tina doesn't answer the question. She moves out of the bed, gives Bette a sullen glance and walks to the bathroom. Tina stays in the bathroom for a longer period. Bette is patiently waiting for Tina to come out. Bette could not control the tears falling on her cheeks. She's feeling so much pain in her heart. She gets up and changes her clothes. She wants to see Kit. She needs somebody to talk to; unload her feelings of pain and seek comfort. A few minutes later, Tina goes out of the bathroom and she sees Bette dressed, holding her car keys.

**Tina**_: Where are you going?_

**Bette**_: I don't' know._

Tina sighs then looks down. Bette leaves the house and proceeds to Kit. She cries to her, unloads her pain and she tells Kit her plans. Tina on the other hand falls asleep; not bothering to know where Bette went.

It's already 5AM when Bette comes back home. Tina wakes up and realizes Bette has just arrived.

**Tina**_: Where did you go?_

Bette doesn't respond. She's straight-faced with puffy eyes. Then she prepares her clothes and packs.

**Bette**_: I'm leaving to Vermont for a 2-week retreat._

**Tina**_: What?! You can't leave me and your daughter here alone!_

**Bette**_: Yes I can._

**Tina**_: No you can't because I'm going to Canada next week. That trip is very important for me Bette, you know that! Who will take care of Angie if we're both away?_

**Bette**_: Then you have to take a leave of absence from work so you can take care of Angie._

**Tina**_: No way! I'm not taking a leave of absence from work. That fucking retreat is not important! You can have it some other time. So NO, you are not going to leave!_

**Bette**_: What?! You know what Tina, for the last 4 or 5 years, you've been the sole decision maker of this family. Whatever you say, I always comply. When you say NO, I don't fight with you, I just abide by. Now, for once, I want to decide on my own without you dictating me what to do or not to do, or where to go! So, I am leaving to Vermont today for the retreat and you cannot stop me. When I'm away, I want you to decide what you really want to do with your life, what you want and where you want to go. You have to decide whether you still want to live with me and Angie or if you want to go back to the safety of heterosexual world. When I come back I want you to have your answer._

Angelica is awakened by the raising of voices of her two arguing moms. She cries as she hears them. Bette and Tina look at each other and pause for a moment. Bette immediately comes to Angelica and pulls her out of the bed, carries her, kisses her then apologizes.

**Bette**_: I'm sorry sweetie. Don't cry. Mommy's here. Don't worry, everything's gonna be fine. Momma Bee will be away for just a little while, okay? You stay with Momma Tee first, huh? She'll take care of you when I'm away. But don't worry, I'll be back for you sweetheart. I'll be calling you whenever I have a chance so I can hear your sweet little voice. Okay sweetie? Huh? Okay? Uhmm-muaaahhh!_

Angie, with tears in her eyes is carefully observing Bette's face. She can tell that her Momma Bee is very sad and harboring pain. She rests her head on Bette's chest and hugs her tight. Bette is tearful. She carries Angie for a while. Tina watches them. A little later, Bette gives Angie to Tina so she can continue to pack her clothes.

Two hours later, Bette is ready to go. When she bids goodbye to Angie, Angie cries out loud. She's hysterical and doesn't want Bette to go without her. She's begging and shouting. Tina is trying very hard to calm her down but Angie cries piteously as she calls for her Momma Bee. It's so heartbreaking that Bette almost breaks down. It's the first time for almost 4 years that Bette will be away this long from Angie. She is shedding tears and her body is trembling. But she is trying very hard to be tough; she doesn't want Tina and Angie to notice it. Tina is also tearful as she tries to appease Angie. It's too emotional inside the Porter-Kennard residence.

Finally, Bette is able to leave. She's heading to Vermont for the 2-week retreat. She needed it to prepare herself to accept something that is yet to occur in her life for the coming days or weeks.

While Bette is away, James temporarily supervises her art gallery. Tina cancels her trip to Canada so she can take care of Angie while Bette is away. Her nanny helps her too especially when she's at work. Tina is so mad at Bette for leaving. She swears to herself, she cannot forgive Bette for leaving. Her trip to Canada is very important for her as it is one of the biggest projects she is working on. She stays in LA and she now starts dating Henry. Tina and Henry see each other every day. Henry is being so nice and kind to Tina.

Two weeks after the retreat, Bette comes back home. When she arrives, she sees Tina, Henry and Mikey in the living room. Tina and Henry are flirting with each other and smooching while Mikey is drawing something on a piece of paper. All of them are surprised as Bette walks in. Bette's face turns sour upon seeing the scene. But she immediately tries to gather and she remains collected. Tina introduces Henry and Mikey to Bette, and vice-versa. Despite the hurt she's feeling inside, Bette remains well-mannered.

**Bette**_: So where's my little girl Angie?_

**Tina**_: She's in the playgroup. I'll pick her up in 2 hours._

Henry and Mikey decide to leave so they can give Bette and Tina time to talk. They stay inside the car and wait for Tina. Bette is composed and trying very hard to hide the pain she's feeling inside. Only the two of them are left in the house.

**Bette**_: Do you love him?_

Tina doesn't respond. She just looks down.

**Bette**_: You know what Tina, you have no compunction at all! Despite everything...EV-RYthing that I did for you! How dare you bring your guy here in my house and you make out here?! I left you so you could think and clarify things for yourself and this is what you do to me?! If you wanted to go with him, you didn't have to be this cruel to me. You could've at least been a little gentle and considerate. But you're cruel! You're totally heartless!_

Tina gets insulted by Bette's words; she fumingly looks at her. Bette slowly walks around as she tries so hard not to cry in front of Tina.

**Tina**_: You're unfair Bette for leaving when I am supposed to go to Canada for my big project! You're selfish! That's why I have decided that I'm going to leave you and spend the rest of my life with __Henry! I can't live with you anymore! I just can't bear you anymore! Henry and I are better couples and we will build a family of our own! And you know what, Henry has everything that I'm looking for. He is so loving, caring and most specially, very suppo__rtive of me!_

**Bette**_: So I wasn't supportive of you Tina?! After you gave birth to Angelica, you told me you wanted your career back. You said you wanted to work again and build an identity of your own. I supported your decision. I resigned from the CAC, pu__t up my own art gallery so I can have my own time in order for me to take care of our daughter. For almost 4 years, I was mothering our child while you're always away, out of town, out of the country, dedicating you heart, your soul and time to your work. __I'm the one who heard Angelica say her first word; I saw her when she first crawled; I witnessed her when she took her first step; the first tooth that came out of her; I potty trained her; I'm the only one who's by her side when she was sick... And you di__dn't experience all those things Tina. I filled in for you. It's supposedly both our responsibility to our daughter. But you chose you job! You said your job is very important to you, so I backed you up despite my objection. I supported all your decisions!__ And now you have the audacity to tell me that I am not supportive of you?!_

Bette burst into tears. She turns her back from Tina.

**Tina**_: Yeah, because I had to work! I needed to work hard because I had to establish my reputation and not be re__c__ognized only as Bette Porter's partner! I needed to work hard so I can match your status quo. So I can have a name of my own._

**Bette**_: Oh yeah, your ego is more important to you than your family! My status quo never, EVER occurred to me as som__e__thing that __makes me more superior than you. I didn't treat you like I was greater than you because I never, ever have thought of that Tina!_

**Tina**_: You don't understand what I was feeling Bette! I needed to have a name of my own to feel secured of myself, to be secure__d of our relationship. I had to compete with your women on the side, to match their levels so you will not leave me for them._

**Bette**_: What?! Is that what you think of me? That I will look for someone who is more accomplished than you?! That's absurd! Have you not ever considered that I love you Tina, huh?!_

Bette's voice is trembling. Tina doesn't respond. Bette continues to express her resentments.

**Bette**_: When I asked you to decline the offer by Shaolin Productions, it was because your work involves __traveling abroad. But I didn't mean that you decline it because you'll have more earnings than me. That never occurred to me! All I wanted is for you to stay close to home, close to Angie, close to me. I didn't ask you to stop working because I know you l__ove your work. I only asked you to decline the offer of traveling so you can have more time with us. But b__e__cause it pays well, you took the offer and it didn't matter to you if you always travel, always away from home, a__l__ways away from our daughter, away __from me!_

**Tina**_: Why? Weren't you traveling a lot before? When you were with the CAC, you travelled a lot too and I supported you! I didn't complain and you didn't hear anything from me._

**Bette**_: We didn't have a baby then, Tina. We didn't have a baby then._

**Tina**_: I am traveling because my job requires me to do it. You were traveling because you loved meeting women. That's the difference between us Bette!_

**Bette**_: What?! That is ridiculous! That is so not true! All my travels to New York were CAC __work-related and business r__e__lated. I didn't travel for pleasure. You know what Tina, even before Angie was born, I have already limited my tra__v__els to New York and other states. It's because I felt that you were always jealous of these women that I meet. Yo__u always had this feeling that when I'm away, I'm going to cheat on you. I decided not to travel often because I didn't want you to feel that way. I wanted you to feel secured of our relationship. I didn't want you to worry and be threatened by these wome__n that I get acquainted with. Yes, I have a history of cheating, but that was only one time and it never happened again, ever! I tried so hard, I did everything, to the point of compromising because I wanted so much for our relationship to work. I did ever__ything to nurture this relationship because I wanted it to last. But you just took it for granted!_

**Tina**_: Ah! So you're raking over the coals?!_

**Bette**_: Yes I am! Because you don't realize how much I've sacrificed! I've sacrificed almost EV-RYthing in __order to build this family and to preserve it! I've sacrificed sooo much because I wanted this family to be intact! But you're just brea__k__ing it easily! You have no compassion at all!_

**Tina**_: How dare you accuse me of not having compassion!_

**Bette**_: Well if you have compassion Tina, you should've at least thought of Angie. You should at least thought about how our daughter would feel about our situation._

**Tina**_: Of course I always consider Angie in all my decisions._

**Bette**_: And me? So I am nothing to you? That's why you didn't even consider my feelings? You think this is the right thing to do and this is the right life for you because this is the norm - a man, a woman and children? I think you're just confused Tina. And I'm sure you're just curious and you just want to experiment with men._

**Tina**_: What?! I'm not experimenting with men. I am sure of what I'm feeling. This is real Bette! This is real… Okay?!_

**Bette**_: And I am not real; I am just a joke to you? Huh?! So our life together for 13 years was a joke, a mistake? Huh, Tina?!_

**Tina**_: You know what Bette, you shouldn't have left for Vermont when I asked you not to. You should have NOT given me and Henry a chance to be together. But you used that god damn fucking retreat as an excuse so you can get away, and then you pressured me to decide if I wanted to be with Henry or not?! You deserted me instead of you fighting for our relationship, fighting for me. You're a coward cuz you just took off! Things could've been different had you stayed._

**Bette**_: Ha! So you're putting the blame on me now?! You were already drifting away Tina. In your chat conversations, you told Henry your life with me is so complicated and you don't want a complicated life anymore. It's like you have already planned your life with hi__m and you have already made the decision to leave me. The moment I read your conversations, I knew you were breaking this family. And you were just waiting for the right timing to tell me that you wanted out. I even tried and asked you to go on vacation wi__th me and Angie so we can rekindle our relatio__n__ship, but you declined. I went to that retreat because I needed enlightenment, courage and strength to accept your decision. Before I went to Vermont I already knew you were going to leave me and break our fam__ily. Whether I left to Vermont or not, I knew this was going to happen. So it wasn't an excuse Tina, it wasn't! And there's no point of me fighting for you anymore because you yourself is not willing. And I can feel that you are more interested in that man__ than you are interested in me. So there's no point of fighting for you Tina..._

**Tina**_: Oh you are right Bette! You're so damn right! There is no point of fighting for me! Yeah, you'll just be wasting your time and effort! Thank God! My decision is right! And I'm leaving you now for good. I'm sure my life will be better without you! My life will not be complicated anymore!_

Bette could not take anymore all the things that Tina is saying, she turns her back from Tina and walks away. She proceeds to the bedroom with her eyes full of tears. As she walks away, Tina yells.

**Tina**_: Oh, and by the way... Yes, I love Henry!_

Bette is totally crushed upon hearing Tina's words. She continues to walk towards the bedroom. She's shaking. It's too painful to bear. Tina leaves the house, slams the door.

While inside the bedroom, Bette opens the cabinet and she's more surprised to see that Tina already took all her stuff. She checks on Tina's drawers and they're empty too. Bette breaks down and falls on the floor. She's weeping. She's so devastated. She calls Kit and seeks for comfort.

...

_Continuation: Moving On_


End file.
